Sitting in my favorite chair
I am waiting for a phone call
I ve been waiting for years
Waiting in the dark I know
In my quiet living room
There lies a receipt from Sears
But wait there goes the phone it rings
I jump up and loudly sing
That you ve finally come around
Now I m screaming at the wall
It turns out you didn t call
I m all alone and you ve found

In my home
You know that I ll wait up for gnomes
This depressing romance
Fails to impress the man sitting in my pants
But I won t cry
I ll just sit around complaining and whine
That none of this
Fits in with my true holly wood story

Sitting there I feel so crazed
Knowing that you d be amazed
At all of the progress I ve made
I don t want to look a prick
Even though you make me sick
With all of the therapists I ve paid
And I don t think I need to say
You know that you ve made me pay
For all the worry I d bring
And even though you ve made me mad
There s no way you d make me sad
Jumping every time that phone rings